I’ve a confession to make

Perhaps it’s the young Catholic child still inherent in me and the desire to make confession (I was raised in a Catholic Italian family and of my own free will converted to Judaism when I was 21)

Perhaps it’s the desire to make amends and apologize for who I am

Perhaps it’s the desire to make visible what else is possible

Perhaps it’s the desire to share with you that I’m not yet dead, not yet 100% there, not floating on a cloud, still picking up my crown that’s tumbled off my ‘I’m a coach and have it together’ platform

Perhaps the confession is simply : I am human

I am human and I do not live a life where unicorns pee perfume or fart rainbows
I don’t live a life that is flatline – one constant thread of one emotion
I don’t live a life where I am the perfect friend or perfect wife (well we know I didn’t do that) or perfect mother (that’s why we’re in therapy)

And let me not even engage in what is perfect and perfection

I am human
I don’t cry pretty, I lose my shit and raise my voice, I get angry, I say inappropriate things,

I get the hot flushes and it’s often more than just menopause

I forget you and I forget me, I feel sad, I feel fear and afraid, I feel alone and I feel loved and grateful and blessed for what I have (and for what I don’t)

I have my shit together and then I don’t

I am compassionate and caring (often to others not so often towards myself), I am on a journey that is leading me back home … I get lost on the path and thank heavens find my way back to it …

So in all of this don’t expect me to live a life where I’m farting rainbows and peeing perfume
I am human
There will be days (are days) when my blogs are dark and my heart is heavy and my soul is feeling weary.  Where I have temporarily forgotten all about meditation, the power of gratitude, the ability to reframe my language – all of the stuff ‘I SHOULD know’ (and do know).  Where my Instagram and Facebook posts are of ‘heavy’ quotes and lyrics of songs that make me cry

And equally there are days when I am feeling light, filled with joy and hold gratitude with delight, where I laugh until my belly aches and my mascara is half way down my cheeks and I couldn’t give a toss, and my musings are frivolous and upbeat and my Facebook and Instagram posts are of balloons and candyfloss (cotton candy)

If all of this emotion, and specifically the ‘less light’ aspect of me scares you, or you find it unpalatable, then I have to say : I have a confession to make : I am human

I also invite you, instead of staying away, arrive at my front door, pull up a chair and have a coffee and be curious as to what is happening in my world

I engage with all of my emotions – they make me stronger – they bring awareness each time they draw up a chair and have a coffee with me – I learn deeply of my stories of the patterns that play out in my life when I engage with all of my emotions … the so called bad and dark emotions  and the ones where my smile is so broad that I can be a Colgate model

I have a confession to make: I am human

And no I am not apologizing for who I am.

It is my desire to be FULLY who I am and experience all the learning that emotions and being real are.  To experience the length, breadth and depth of life, to be human, to be real, for my pee to smell after I’ve eaten asparagus and my farts.. let’s just say I fart [Symbol]

I look forward to us sharing coffee, of speaking of our human-ness

And I leave you with the chorus of ‘I am human’ by Escape the Fate and a  couple of links to some interesting articles

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/not-all-love-and-light-cant-ignore-dark-be-positive/?utm_source=ActiveCampaign&utm_medium=email&utm_content=Why+we+can+t+just+%22be+positive%22+%28and+more%29&utm_campaign=TB+Weekly+2018

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/dark-side-of-happiness-why-too-much-good-thing-is-not-a-good-thing/

Escape the Fate – I am human

I am strong, I am weak
I am everything between
I am proud to be me
I am human
I am weird, I’m a freak
I am different, I’m unique
I will love who I please
I am human
You are just like me
You are just like me

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