I was speaking with a doctor, earlier this week, who’s based in Europe and was asking her perspective around the upsurge in COVID numbers.  Like most viruses, this one is also mutating, she said. 

It got me thinking around the word mutation which in essence speaks to a change of state or condition.  Damn. Everything pertaining to this year, has been for me, a form of mutation. And because my mind does this – goes on a meander – I considered the words that are being used in relation to the COVID-19 virus.  

Words and phrases like fight, lockdown, pivot and new normal. I reflected on how these words show up in my body – tense, ‘armed for action’, stressed and more importantly I started thinking about my enneagram type and mutation.

I’m a Social 1 enneagram type.  The name given to this type is ‘non-adaptability’ and that is when the proverbial penny dropped.

The behaviours of this sub-type speak to the rigidity around beliefs, actions. Of how this type appreciates the rules, somewhat schoolmarmish in their approach.

Everything of my type’s stance has wobbled the past 10 months.  Everything that I have held so tightly as being part of my identity has been cracked wide open.  The masks (and not the Corona-mandatory type) have done more than slip slightly off my face. 

I’m no longer able to hold tightly to the ‘I’m good’ in response to someone asking me how I’m doing.

The people who I had believed were ‘my peeps’ have proven that they’re not, so what does that say about me?

My to do lists remain untouched, with a sense of lethargy around anything prescriptive.

The work that I do, that my identity was so tightly woven into, has morphed into a space that hasn’t yet made itself known.

My non-adaptability has been whacked. Whacked hard.  And it is necessary now to avail the space of mutation.

How do I shift my story and shift my sh#t?

How do I move from resentment to contentment?

How do I ask for help, becoming discerning as to whom to ask, instead of squaring my shoulders and telling myself that I can do it on my own?

How do I create a new identity that is separate to what I do in the world and instead is the who I am being? 

How do I become comfortable experiencing my emotions and not shoving them under the bed?

How do I lean into what’s to come rather than focus on what’s no longer?

How do I take definitive actions for myself and move out of the languishing lethargy?

How do I claim my worth and not anticipate it from others?

How do I change my state?

How do I move to adaptability?

How do I mutate?