We get what we tolerate.

Are you evolving or revolving?


Both the statement and the question had me in deep reflection the past week.  The statement was a one-liner from the Tony Robbins Netflix documentary “I’m not your guru” and the question a chapter heading from Dr Edith Eger’s book ‘The Gift: 12 lessons to save your life’.


Tolerate (verb): to allow the existence, occurrence or practice of something one dislikes or disagrees with, without interference.


Revolve (verb): to travel around a central point; to turn back, to repeat


Evolve (verb): to expand, to develop by natural processes to a higher state


What are you tolerating in your life?

Are there relationships that have reached their sell by date and you’re still holding on?

Is it perhaps the manner in which you doubt yourself?

A job or career that is paying the bills and leaves you joyless?


By tolerating this in your life are you supporting the evolution of you or are you simply revolving around the same conversations of ‘just as soon as I get my bonus I’m out of here’ / rather I tell myself how much I need to improve than someone else tell me / I’m going to give them one more chance to redeem themselves.


Tony Robbins might not be your cup-a-ccino and you might not pick up a book recounting a 92-year old’s story of her time in Auschwitz and yet these pearlers got me thinking. Reflecting.


I’ve got to own up to the fact that the uncertainty of this year has had me tolerating a whole lotta shit and had me revolving rather than evolving.  If truth be told I was jailed in the prison of paralyzing fear.


I’ve realized that I’ve been literally weighted down by the unknown, the now what, the who I am, who will I be, to the extent that I have gained 12kgs.

I’ve realized how I hold the fear of abandonment and because of this, do everything in my power not to abandon another even if it means that I am holding on beyond the sell by date; it even goes as far as not ‘wanting’ to abandon limiting patterns.

My language became ‘heavy’, pessimistic, limited.

And my mood dark and bordering depressed.


What changed?  I’m not sure of the exact moment in time.  But I remembered a friend telling me years ago that I needed a board of directors even though it’s just me in my business.

I also started working deeply with my passion of ontology and archetypal enneagram patterns. 

In simple terms, I started paying close attention to the language, emotions and behaviours of my core enneagram type and the story behind them.


And the cover of my soon to be released book says it all:


Shift your story, shift your sh#t


Time to evolve

Time to let go of outdated limiting patterns

Time to get me a board of directors and the sky is literally the limit: I’m thinking You-Tube / a free online course / a conversation with someone different to me, younger, older, different gender, different core business

Time to do the work

Time to be the new pattern – the new thinking, feeling, doing


What are you tolerating in your life?
Are you ready to evolve?